Laura Mazza has two children and a third on her way. She frequently blogs about life as a mom and all the experiences that come along with it.
Just a couple of weeks ago, she shared an event that received much attention — with many praising the mother for her “rudeness”.
Here’s what she wrote on Facebook:
“Recently relatives came to visit and asked for a goodbye hug, and my son promptly said no. This person said “ohhh come on!! Just one big hug” and I was looked at by the relative like I should encourage him by saying “go on give her a hug!”
The relative then looked at Laura for help to persuade her son. But Laura did not help, instead she said:
“That’s okay you don’t have to”…
https://www.facebook.com/themumontherun/photos/a.1086894851378492.1073741828.1081096381958339/1913116195423016/?type=3&theater
Laura understood that her response could be interpreted as arrogant and rude, but she had a very good reason for doing it, even though the hug was completely innocent.
“My responsibility first and foremost is to my children. As their mother it’s my job to stand up for them when they can’t and teach them to learn to stand up for themselves.
I am their safe place, one that they trust and I won’t abuse that by insisting that they do something that makes them feel uncomfortable to be polite.”
https://www.facebook.com/themumontherun/photos/a.1086894851378492.1073741828.1081096381958339/1846860372048599/?type=3&theater
“No means no”
Laura also wrote that her son could sometimes be rather affectionate, and that she was trying to teach him that no is no, no matter who it comes from.
“I can’t tell him ‘You can’t hug her/him if they don’t want to be hugged, but if uncle Albert demands a hug, you should give him one. Because I’m teaching my kids that no means no and that’s it’s okay to say no,” she writes, adding:
“It means no when your sister doesn’t want to wrestle.
It means ‘no’ when your girlfriend/boyfriend says ‘no’ to sex or if you or they say, ‘I’m not ready’
It means no when you say you don’t want to do something with your body that you don’t want to do. So it definitely means no when someone asks you for a hug and you don’t want to give them one.
The message is that you can still be polite, nice and a good person and still say no.”
https://www.facebook.com/themumontherun/photos/a.1089555077779136.1073741829.1081096381958339/1898774046857231/?type=3&theater
Share to bring attention to Laura who believes in standing up for her children and teaching them from an early age that no is always no, no matter who it comes from!
