Being a dad means showing up, not checking out.
But sometimes it seems like certain men just don’t get it — sure, they can be sweet and romantic when the moment is right, but fatherhood changes things.
And in this story, it looks like that reality went right over this husband’s head.
The dilemma
For some men, the perfect escape means whisking their partner away on a romantic trip. For others, it’s sneaking off alone while their wife is still healing from surgery
That’s the dilemma one pregnant woman brought to Reddit’s infamous AITA (Am I the A–hole?) forum, and it’s sparking major outrage online.
The mom-to-be, who is due in December, shared that she and her husband were talking about holiday plans. She told him she might be up for traveling with their newborn and friends over Christmas — depending on how she felt after her scheduled C-section.
But instead of offering reassurance, her husband hit her with this: “Okay, but if you change your mind, do I get a free pass?”
When she pressed him on what he meant, his answer floored her: he wanted the freedom to jet off alone, leaving her home recovering from major abdominal surgery, caring for a newborn, and possibly wrangling their toddler too.
“I’d be less than a month postpartum from major abdominal surgery… I thought he’d obviously be home to help and support me — so I was shocked and hurt he’d even ask this,” she wrote.
The husband later claimed he was “just checking” in case she changed her mind. But his timing struck her as selfish, so she turned to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for being upset.
Spoiler: Reddit had her back.
“NTA, no way he should be leaving you alone with the kids that soon,” one user blasted. Another piled on: “I don’t think your husband knows what a partnership is or how serious C-sections are if his first instinct is to leave you alone two weeks after giving birth.”
Others were stunned by his priorities. “Not only is he the AH, it seems extremely immature to worry about NYE plans when you have a family, especially a new baby, and your wife had surgery. Get a grip — it’s just one night.”
Several commenters added personal stories: “My friend had an emergency C-section and was out of commission for a while. It’s a massive surgery.”
A maternal-child health nurse cut right to the point: “No, this is unreasonable and insensitive of him to even ask. NTA.”
It’s not the first time Reddit has dragged a husband for chasing “me time” while his wife juggles recovery and childcare. Just last week, a dad of three was slammed for complaining about burnout after long shifts — while his stay-at-home wife ran the household nonstop.
At the end of the day, some husbands think about romance, some think about escape… and the internet has a lot of thoughts on which is which. What do you think of this story?
