1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2. Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3. If you are surrounded by the sea you are an Island. If you don’t have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)
4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend no more (Kylie age 6)
5. A dolphin breathes through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)
6. My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily age 5)
7. When ships had sails, they used to use trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9. I’m not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy age 6)
10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11. When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12. Divers have to be saft when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)
13. On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie age 7)
14. The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. (Bobby age 6)
15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married mom. (James age 7)
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