I think all parents can agree there are countless moments when your child says something so funny you wished you could write it down.
Their honesty and constant questioning of the world around them is so refreshing.
Most parents want to document their children’s life through photos but one dad has gained international recognition for tweeting the daily conversations he has with his four young girls. When you read the selection below you’ll understand why.
Exploding unicorn aka James Breakwell is a comedy writer and father of four girls from Indianapolis who tweets the hilarious conversations he has with his girls, who are all under the age of 8.
Me: What did you do at school today?
5-year-old: Learned about dragons.
Me: Your class learned about dragons?
5: I learned about dragons. I don't know what everybody else was doing.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2018
His Twitter feed went viral in 2016 and he now has over one million followers.
I played Dungeons and Dragons with my daughters.
They were supposed to fight the wolves surrounding a town.
Instead, they fed the wolves and turned them into their friendly wolf army.
Girls, man. They’ll take over the world.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 7, 2018
James told Buzzfeed about the ups and downs of Twitter and how his kids feel about it all.
“They like what I do on Twitter mainly because it’s all about them,” he said. “On one hand, Twitter makes me a better father because I spend more time with my kids. On the other hand, Twitter makes me a much worse father because I only do it to get more material.”
7-year-old: All the boys said they were faster than girls in gym class.
Me: What did you say?
7: Nothing. I just beat them.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 22, 2017
The conversations they have at the end of a school day make for some very entertaining reading.
6-year-old: *fast forwards all the way through a movie*
Me: You can’t just skip to the happy ending.
6: I don't have time for problems.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2017
5-year-old: *wears an Elsa dress with a Wonder Woman cape and a Batman mask*
Me: Which superhero are you?
5: Me. pic.twitter.com/sioa1XJ0tL
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 6, 2017
His four girls do not hold anything back.
7-year-old: Do you have a podcast?
Me: Do you even know what a podcast is?
7: It's that thing where you talk to yourself and no one listens.
She knows exactly what a podcast is.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2017
So many parents can relate to what he tweets about.
I'm glad we own 10,000 stuffed animals so my toddler can fall asleep cuddling with a jar of peanuts. pic.twitter.com/mIJKNg2DEp
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2017
We’re reminded of how brutally honest our kids can be.
5-year-old: I’m not scared of monsters when I'm with you.
Me: Well, thanks.
5: They’ll eat you first because you’re fatter.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2017
In 2017 James released his first book “Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse” and went on to launch his own YouTube channel where his family and their pet pig Gilly make regular appearances.
Speaking about his first book he told Indystar, “Every other survival guide out there is, What would Bear Grylls do? This hardcore survivalist out on his own, what would he do if a bear attacked or zombies attacked?
“What about the rest of us? What if you’re out of shape, and you’re dragging along four kids, and you just have no idea what to do? You have no skills whatsoever. That’s what this book is about.”
My 3-year-old called a giraffe a "tree horse" and now I have to update Wikipedia.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 18, 2017
As for being a parent he says, “I guess it’s pretty much the same thing. It’s just one failure after another. You just have to fail in the forward direction and hope you get the kids out the door eventually.”
[waitress brings out the food]
5-year-old: I don't like pancakes.
Me: Then why did you order pancakes?
5: I panicked.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2017
He may just be the funniest man on Twitter. Please share with all the parents you know and let them know they are not alone in this crazy world of parenting.
