Nurse holds dead baby in her arms, but the truth behind this picture is moving the world to tears

Most everyone knows I am a nurse! A NICU Nurse. Many people think this means feeding and rocking babies, which occasionally I get the privilege to do 🙂…But my job entails so much more.I take care of babies born months too early to live without modern medicine…Placed on ventilators with central lines and life saving medications.
I assess them, care for them, draw labs, start IVs, and give medications. 
I teach a new dad how to change his fragile baby’s diaper for the first time.
I place this baby on their moms chest (often with many tubes and wires attached) after she has not yet been able to hold them for days, sometimes weeks. 
I comfort that momma as she watches her tiny fragile baby go through more pokes, prods, and procedures than most of us will ever even know.
I celebrate with parents every milestone: every good blood gas, gram gained, tube removed.
I rejoice in the day parents get to bring their baby home after spending months inside the walls of the NICU.
I witness miracles. I get to see little lives come back and beat insurmountable odds. But sometimes I don’t…
I help to resuscitate babies when their hearts stop and little bodies simply can’t take any more. 
I beat myself up trying to think what we could have done better or different when all medical options have been exhausted.
I hand those sweet little lives to their parents as they take their last breaths when science and medicine is no longer enough.
I give them medication to make them comfortable in their last moments here on earth.
I help make molds and keepsakes that their family will cherish forever.
I share memories with the family and we laugh and cry in the midst of it all. The NICU becomes their home.
I hug their family members as they walk away from their baby’s room for the last time, hoping my words brought them some comfort.
I sometimes cry in the car on my way home, in the shower, or as I try to fall asleep before going into work to take care of other little lives.
I lean on my coworkers. Those other NICU nurses I’m so blessed to work besides. I look to them for knowledge, wisdom, and support. 
Yes, my “job” is a NICU Nurse. But it proves time and time again to be so much more.

***this picture was most definitely shared with this mommas permission as she loves to share her sons journey and the fighter that he was! 🙂 This picture was taken after he left us here on earth and it was such a blessing to be there with him in these moments. I know his other NICU nurses in the background feel the same way! Photo taken by the wonderful Ashley Trainer-Smas ❤️

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