Everyone, even those in the happiest of marriages, knows that making a relationship work can be, well… work.
That’s why most couples can relate to the story of one unhappily married man named Todd.
It sometimes has different details and sometimes the sexes of the letter writers are reversed, but it always has the same core storyline.
It is a fun little read that should really get you chuckling once you reach the second letter.
When one man decided he was unhappy in his marriage, he felt it was time to demand a divorce. So, he wrote his wife a letter—and in it, he blamed everything on her!
While his outrage might have seemed warranted at first, his wife’s brilliant response put everything into perspective…
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years but I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … And then your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today…ughhh that was the last straw!
Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, I had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate quickly in just 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, Later for you….I’m gone!
Todd, Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. In the hellish 7 years that we have been married, a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone…and all I found was your lousy letter.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. By the way, I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was actually born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
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